The time has come to move to a new employer. Maybe the choice is voluntary, maybe it’s forced. For many this step feels loaded with uncertainty and discomfort. This sensation creates a sense of urgency, a desire to get out of this phase as quickly as possible.

Such a mindset tends to generate a willingness to accept the first job offer on the table. In fact, the “get me out of this phase of my life” mode of thinking numbs our sense of caution and our readiness to reflect critically. We become prone to make hasty decisions. We tend to overlook the fact that job seekers are called upon to make informed decisions. To choose in favor of a certain company while opting to reject other roles, bosses, and employers. I have found a special metaphor helps job seekers see the picture as it really is. Let me invite you to join me in the ballroom for an evening of dance – whether you enjoy dancing or not. It’s part of the game that must be played.

Your task in the ballroom …

is to identify the dance partner who is best suited to you. Lined up against the wall opposite you are ten dancers – and one of them is right for you. How will you proceed? Let me suggest a few rules to guide you through the process and to your decision making.

1. You are required to dance once with each of the ten potential partners to get a feeling for each person as a dance partner.
2. You are advised to focus less on first impressions and outward appearance. Instead, focus on how well you dance together.
3. After having danced once with all ten, you can start the process of elimination. This means you go back to certain dancers for a second or third try.
4. At some point in the evening you and the right dancer will reach a shared conclusion that “we fit best together” – even if the first impression was different.

And that is how job search works. You take your time to get to know different potential employers, recognizing your duty and opportunity to decide “yes” or “no” to each counterpart. The right combination requires both parties to give a full-hearted “yes”. Without this shared agreement – both making the same positive choice – a solid and sustainable working relationship is impossible.

So remember,

your job search is all about you making choices and in order to make choices you have to play the field – and this takes time. That’s why your job search needn’t end as quickly as possible. It takes time to make sound decisions that offer you a sustainable future. What metaphors help you handle the challenging progression from one employer to the next, the job search you prefer not to have? And what questions remain unanswered in your brain, questions that seem to limit you?